Away v Hillingdon Manor – League – won by 4 wickets

Chess Valley Sunday League Div 3 2024

Hillingdon Manor CC versus Graces CC

Sunday 23rd June 2024

So, here I am writing my first match report on a game for the first time since 1999! Yep, fairly sure the match report back then also referenced the mighty guitarist and artist extraordinaire called Prince (R.I.P).  To the hardcore – in the year 1999 Prince in fact was known by the masses as “the artist formerly known as Prince”. Any how I digress or do I …because you see back then Graces CC were only 3 years old, the team was new and old at the same time, and unlike today’s opponents Hillingdon Manor CC which google informs me is…and I kid you not! :

“Hillingdon Manor Cricket Club has a rich history spanning 185 years. club. The club was formed in 18342. While it faces some challenges, including recent controversies related to leadership, its legacy remains significant.”

Oh, Interesting, controversies…more of that later, but you might also be interested to know that before Prince released the 1999  album in 1982,  The previous year he released the album called Controversy and in the title track, he sings “people call me rude, I wish we were all nude, I wish there was no black or white I wish there were no rules” and later as song ends   he and the backing band -called the revolution all chant “you’re gonna have to fight your own damn war, because we don’t want to fight no more!”  Where are you going with this Noddy bhai, I hear Mannish and my reply to him and to you dear reader would be …Hold onto your wigs! (another prince lyric by the way), this is one of those legendary Noddy Shofiq opening bowling spells from 1999, I will deliver that yorker later!

Prior to the game, 24 hours earlier to be precise, Martin Tredgeon and I had gone to the see the play “Safer” at Bloomsbury theatre. It’s part of a major new research project into the barriers to participation in sports faced by LGBTQIA+ community and challenges of creating safe spaces. How uncanny that I should return the big smoke first time summer having moved to Wiltshire a year ago! We both thoroughly enjoyed the play as well as the Q&A afterwards and have agreed to be part in the project to share our experiences both recent and new (Martin) and ready for the museum and ancient (Me). …now  I have your attention here is what happened as I saw it.  Warning it a bit long – if words are not our thing – go to play cricket look at the stats and crack on.

Winless after two games in the league Graces were bottom of the table having played 2 came second twice equals NIL pont.  Weather gloriously warm and sunny and the outfield best described as missing that Broxbourne smoothness. Prior to the game, captain Stuart had to contend with last minute dropouts, 3-hour journey from Herefordshire as well as players delayed by traffic and the team bottom of the table in Div 3. It had clearly got too much for him because he then won the toss and decided to bowl on a pith which proved from a distance to have some slow and variable bounce. I am also not too sure if the 2024 league rules requires Captains to be more visible and he certainly was wearing erm Irish green trousers throughout the game. Despite this crime against fashion (note to Stuart – If you insist on green, ensure  there is plenty of pastel lemon in the rest of the outfit …it’s a must ok, if you can’t, you can stretch it out with bright orange and tell everyone you have come as an upside-down carrot!  don’t believe me, ask Gok!) the opening bowling pair Mahi and Kash kept their opening pair in check by bowling a tidy line and length. Shumail kept wicket in borrowed kit from the opposition. Sarthak our newest member had earlier arrived and due to the late arrivals kindly put in a tidy spell of fielding. HMCC ticked along to 92 after 20 overs, with Mahi bowling an unbroken spell of 10 overs for 46 runs. Kash taking a breather with a luckless spell of 6 overs for 31 which included the only maiden of our innings! Ratan in the field was energetic and saved a few runs. As the weather got warmer,  Graces mobility in the field slowed to allow the batters to take easy singles (Learning lesson number one  to take forward to next week – more ground fielding before matching to get into match focus!) A few that were hit in the air fell annoyingly in the gaps.

Then after being hit for a six, Simon Lycett with the very next delivery bowled the perfect yorker to make the breakthrough with the score on 114 in the 21st over.

A large Kite or was it a buzzard flew right over the square as their number 3 took guard ! It was a sparrowhawk; it certainly wasn’t an aeroplane but a few of those also flew over.  As numerous fielding errors occurred, I calmed myself by spotting the green parakeets and numerous pesky pigeons which flew across the square. Then with the batters looking to press on and attack the tiring bowlers and hit out Mahi in the deep took a superb running catch to give Simon his 2nd wicket – scores on the doors George draws said 134 for 2 after 25 overs. “Come on, it only takes 6 good balls to take 6 wickets we got this. I screamed internally and started sending positive energy out into the field. Next ball, Simon could have had 3 which is the magic number de la soul sang about back in 1988, but it wasn’t to be. Dropped on a golden duck – If I were a batter – I would definitely have made a note to buy a lottery ticket after the game.  Last time I was dropped on a golden duck, I bought a lottery ticket and…….wasted two pounds! Oh well.  Simon finished his spell with figures of 9 over 2 for 51.

I was hoping to spot a hoopoe, but it never turned up, Ratan and Moeed did though, replacing Mahi and Simon. I was a first-time viewer and soon converted into a lifelong fan. Both bowled smartly to dry up the flow of runs which had threatened to make the chasing target beyond 220 in my estimation. The ball also seemed to follow the luckless muneeb,  and dropped catches in the outfield were generously  shared – there were at least 4 (Lesson number two take forward to the next game practise catching before games to get into match focus!) despite this plus an excellent shout for a run out – given not out, Graces kept their cool and the score reached 149 for 2 after 30 overs.  Second Drinks break, a further costume change for Kosala and Sumail who swopped borrowed wicket keeping gear and straight into the action for Shumail.

Just like  Armstrong’s was a giant leap for mankind – Sumail –  Leapt high in the air running backwards to take a one-handed catch – another one to add to “ I can’t believe it’s not Stu” who did that !  Ratans delight like everyone else, clear to see.

Another wicket fell soon after, but I have no idea how because …. I was looking up at the sky and noticed that the kite or was it a sparrow hawk had returned to fly over the square again . the score was 160 for 4 in the 37 overs which became 173 for 5 at the end of 40th.

Time for a further change of role for Sumail, who now replaced Ratan in the bowling attack beguiling the lower order with his leg spin. Ratan’s superb and accurate bowling (accompanied by impressions of Monica Seles grunts) spell 10 overs, 2 wickets for 24.  Bravo. Hat tip.

Moeed took two wickets in two balls to finish with 3 wickers for 12 runs off 6 overs. A Team Hatrick was then avoided when sumail was unable to hold on to a sharp caught and bowl chance at the end. So, the target was 192 to win and collect our first points of the season to go alongside the many friends we have picked up in the season!

After tea, we began the chase, and it was difficult. Firstly, and not for the first time in a league game away from home – our supporting cast in numbers was low (Note to everyone: Come and support us please, its important. Even for  few hours, can make an enormous difference and help Stuart or whoever is  captain on the day.  We are a community, there is a difference between people who play cricket and cricketers – rant over!)

Sumail and Simon opened the batting and from the where Cliff (now on scoring duties) and I (on supporting scoring duties – digital scorebox) sat it appeared to us that Sumail and Ratan (umpiring) were targeted by repeated appeals for LBW which were turned down. The score reached 47 for 0 after 10 overs. The loudest and the unacceptable language came from the opposition skipper! Scroll right up to what google has to say about the club and recent leadership challenges! The appealing and the unacceptable language also continued. In my mind’s eye was Divine singing you think you are a man, but you are just a boy, and then flashed images of Elton John in the documentary tantrums and tiaras. Then I recalled scenes from the play Martin, and I had seen the day before and the struggles to find safe spaces and I time travelled back to 1999 and remembered it was still Pride MONTH for crying out loud. Clive made notes in the scorebook to make sure I could take the next steps because it’s not 1999 anymore and we are not going to be intimidated or bullied or abused by anyone before during or after a game of cricket. And as a club we not going to lose players especially new ones to external intimidation.  Be the change you want to see! Back to the game.

Sumail was out caught for 21.  Enter Mahi to join Simon and the pair batted calmly and played some delicate shots despite the continued provocation to distract them to take us to 91 in the 17th over.  Having reached 30, Simon was out caught off the bowling of Singh who interesting enough alternated bowling with left and right arm spin which meant that Muneeb was now sight screen duties!

Cool and calm heads were needed throughout our innings and Mahi continued to provide the desired moments of defence, attack and play and miss  to frustrate the bowlers and keep the score and target in sight, meanwhile in the other end Dominic provided the patience that was needed and when he was out scoring 8, Aqib joined Mahi to score a quick fire 26 which included 3 huge sixes before he was out with the score on 120 in the 25th over.  Soon after Kosala was stumped having scored 5 and Muneeb joined Mahi and just when we were almost over the line, Mahi was caught for a superb and mature innings of 84 which included 15 fours.  It was left to captain Stuart and his Irish Green trousers to scamper a couple of runs to get us over the line and record a first league game of the season.

Thank you to Kash who stayed cool and calm umpiring at one end for our entire innings as well as Clive, who scored our innings beautifully.  It was lovely meeting all the new players for the first time as well as spending time again with the more established ones  and be entertained by them, despite all the challenges.  We exist so cricket can be enjoyed by everyone, and we will continue to play the game in the spirit it is intended and call out those who don’t through the appropriate channels. You have my word and now you have this match report.  Go well and now as Frank Skinner used to say at the end of his radio shows on Saturdays mornings ….Get out!

Nadeem

Graces CC – First time match reporter/lifelong critical …Friend

Ps: The title – The conference of the Birds is not a song by Prince, it is in fact a book of Poetry by Attar who was a Persian Poet, who inspired Rumi.  Check it out, especially the recent translation by Sholeh Wolpe.